you’re making this decision again. it’s going to forever be in the back of your mind that I lie to you. I just hate knowing that either truth or lie will pull us apart. you said you were going to stay. I’m relieved but extremely upset. I have to earn you back somehow. it’s so hard when you are always pushing me away. but I’m fucking up too.

-deadly:

i just realized tomorrow is only thursday

 

i hate how jealous i can be. i don’t get jealous over little thing like girls liking the same guy. more like jealous of a whole persons life. i get so upset that they have a like almost perfect life. and they’re happy. i would let myself do that but i always end up getting hurt. i can’t get hurt anymore and if that means being unhappy so be itttt.

buttcamp:

the best compliments are when people compliment you on things about yourself that you thought only you knew or noticed because its like wow you actually must like me if you noticed that about me thank you and what should we name our children

I hate how you assume things and you force me to say what you believe because of your sick need to always be right. God, I really fucking hate that. Let me say never mind, let me have secrets, let me think aloud to myself without you assuming 30 thousand things I didn’t even think about. Its like you are trying to make things harder for me. I’m sorry I don’t meet your ever growing suspicions. I hate when I myself has to get upset with you for making bad assumptions cause then I feel like the bad guy when all I want for you is to trust me again.

I’m willing to try for you. I’m tired of you breaking my heart day after day saying you’re tired with this and you don’t want to deal with this again. Baby, you won’t. I’ll do anything for you. I just need a little time. I just.. I can’t gain your trust back if you are not willing to give me any of it. I feel like you just look at me and question everything I do. But there isn’t a need to. I walk alone in the hallways, I sit alone in my classes and at lunch. I don’t have friends. Don’t worry about other people trying to steal me away ‘cause I hate every last one of them and all I long for in the day is to see you.

I really try hard to impress you. I try to put my hair in the style you like and wear certain clothes to see if you like them. But its like you don’t notice. You don’t seem to at least. And you don’t really acknowledge me either. I want to be everything you look for a girl I want to be perfect for you and be your dream girl. Insecurity takes a hold of me often and sometimes I just really need a compliment. Not just the usual, “Your Beautiful.” But more like, “I like your hair like that,” or “You look nice today.” I never feel like I’m enough for you.